Thursday, May 26, 2011
Ronald McDonald promotes obesity: Call in the Navy SEALS!
As Whistleblower readers know, I have a six-day-a-week love affair with The New York Times. I love the paper's reportage, but not its editorial policy. However, it's important to seek out other views on the issues of the day. This is an opportunity to defend your beliefs by disarming the opposition's argument, or to change your mind.
The news these days is very dark. There's an apocalyptic aura as we read about terror, war and natural disasters occurring all over the globe. And, since we all like reading about villains, the news media readily supplies us with demons to root against and to distract us from more serious challenges that hover over us.
In this past week, there were four prime villains that the national media offered up for us to consume:
--Osama bin Laden
Don't let Ronald's sunny visage fool you. Behind his painted smile and underneath his red hair is an evil mind who is devoting his life to promoting obesity and ruining our kids. To recall a bold pronouncement issued by a prior Republican president who was poised to send troops into danger across the globe, "This aggression will not stand"' Ronald must be stopped.
Full page ads appeared in several major newspapers asking McDonalds to fire Ronald McDonald, whose nefarious purpose is to lure mindless kids to ingest too much fat, too much sugar and too many calories. Even Happy Meal toys were targeted by the organizing group Corporate Accountability. They properly recognized that these "toys" were dangerous mind control devices that subliminally cause cravings for Big Macs with extra cheese.
Where's the outrage? How has this purveyor of poundage been permitted to operate freely for decades?
Hopefully, the Patriot Act has given law enforcement and the intelligence community enough tools to gather damning evidence against Ronald. I suspect that the Hamburglar is wearing a wire. Legal experts are already debating whether a future trial should take place in a civilian court or a military tribunal. I lean towards the latter, not wanting Ronald to have a public platform to spew his poisonous propaganda, which might include coded language to awaken sleeper cells.
What punishment would be just for such a demon? Gitmo? Solitary confinement in a federal prison? Perhaps, an entire year requiring Ronald to swallow 3 Happy Meals a day would be enough to rehabilitate him and to flip him to our side.
Once Ronald has been taken out, then we can focus on other villains who are plotting evil against us. Do you really think that Mickey Mouse and Goofy are just innocent cartoon characters?
This post by Michael Kirsch, FACP, appeared at MD Whistleblower. Dr. Kirsch is a full time practicing physician and writer who addresses the joys and challenges of medical practice, including controversies in the doctor-patient relationship, medical ethics and measuring medical quality. When he's not writing, he's performing colonoscopies.
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Run by three ACP Fellows, this blog ponders vexing issues in infection prevention and control, inside and outside the hospital. Daniel J Diekema, MD, FACP, practices infectious diseases, clinical microbiology, and hospital epidemiology in Iowa City, Iowa, splitting time between seeing patients with infectious diseases, diagnosing infections in the microbiology laboratory, and trying to prevent infections in the hospital. Michael B. Edmond, MD, FACP, is a hospital epidemiologist in Iowa City, IA, with a focus on understanding why infections occur in the hospital and ways to prevent these infections, and sees patients in the inpatient and outpatient settings. Eli N. Perencevich, MD, ACP Member, is an infectious disease physician and epidemiologist in Iowa City, Iowa, who studies methods to halt the spread of resistant bacteria in our hospitals (including novel ways to get everyone to wash their hands).
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Robert M. Centor, MD, FACP, contributes short essays contemplating medicine and the health care system.
Suneel Dhand, MD, ACP Member
Suneel Dhand, MD, ACP Member, is a practicing physician in Massachusetts. He has published numerous articles in clinical medicine, covering a wide range of specialty areas including; pulmonology, cardiology, endocrinology, hematology, and infectious disease. He has also authored chapters in the prestigious "5-Minute Clinical Consult" medical textbook. His other clinical interests include quality improvement, hospital safety, hospital utilization, and the use of technology in health care.
Juliet K. Mavromatis, MD, FACP, provides a conversation about health topics for patients and health professionals.
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Toni Brayer, MD, FACP, blogs about the rapid changes in science, medicine, health and healing in the 21st century.
Vineet Arora, MD, FACP, is Associate Program Director for the Internal Medicine Residency and Assistant Dean of Scholarship & Discovery at the Pritzker School of Medicine for the University of Chicago. Her education and research focus is on resident duty hours, patient handoffs, medical professionalism, and quality of hospital care. She is also an academic hospitalist.
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Michael Kirsch, MD, FACP, addresses the joys and challenges of medical practice, including controversies in the doctor-patient relationship, medical ethics and measuring medical quality. When he's not writing, he's performing colonoscopies.
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Also known as the Green Journal, the American Journal of Medicine publishes original clinical articles of interest to physicians in internal medicine and its subspecialities, both in academia and community-based practice.
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