Medical billing and epidemiology relies on a classification of diseases maintained by the World Health Organization. On Oct. 1 we transitioned from ICD-9 to ICD-10, a major change that increases the number of available diagnoses from some 17,000 codes up to more than 155,000. In a strange cosmic twist, that was the same day that most retailers needed to install readers for credit cards with chips or be liable for bad purchases.
With that in mind, I present a short story in ICD-9, with a translation into English.
It was E900.0. That, combined with E904.1 and E904.2, not to mention V69.4, is what led to 780.2. I admit it, I have V69.0 and V69.1. I usually sleep well, but that night was different, thanks to 780.55 due to 780.92. That morning I understandably drank 969.7, leading to 785.1. During E924.2 while E013.0 I felt 780.4. Stepping out I had 368.45 before I 780.2.When I was V49.89 after my E884.9. I had a 784.0, as if I had a 305.00. I used my E011.1 to call work to say I'd be late and hoped to avoid V62.1. He greeted me with a 784.42 indicating 300.4.
Last year I V49.89. The flights are arduous, subjected to E918 or being in V01.9 with a 780.92 E979.6 at E902.0. After landing I'm 780.79 due to V69.4 and 780.55, leading to excessive 786.09.
I was in 309.29. At least, thank to the ubiquity of E849.6, I didn't have to suffer from 292.0.
If you think this makes for 315.00 and is a 729.1 to read, just wait for ICD 10! Ever see a V91.07XA?!
It was too hot. That, combined with lack of food and water, not to mention lack of sleep, is what led to my fainting. I admit it, I don't exercise or eat right. I usually sleep well, but that night was different, thanks to interrupted sleep from my son's crying all night. That morning I understandably drank one too many cups of coffee, leading my heart to skip a beat. During a hot shower I felt lightheaded. Stepping out my vision narrowed before I passed out. I awakened after my fall to the floor. I had a headache, as if I had a hangover. I grabbed my cellphone to call my work to say I'd be late and hoped I wouldn't be in trouble with the boss. He greeted me with an edge to his voice, indicating he wasn't completely happy.
Last year I traveled to foreign countries. The flights are arduous, subjected to being squeezed in with other passengers, or being next to a crying, germy child at altitude. After landing I'm worn out due to lack of sleep and jet lag, leading to excessive yawning.
I was in culture shock. At least, thanks to the ubiquity of vendors, I didn't have to suffer from caffeine withdrawal.
If you think reading this is difficult and is a pain in the butt to read, just wait for ICD 10. Ever see a burn due to water-skis on fire?!
Daniel Ginsberg, MD, FACP, is an internal medicine physician who has avidly applied computers to medicine since 1986, when he first wrote medically oriented computer programs. He is in practice in Tacoma, Washington. This post originally appeared on his blog, World's Best Site.